Christmas can be a very difficult time of year for a lot of people. While I feel blessed in so many different ways in my life, I must admit I have wished to skip through Christmas and get started with the new year. Christmastime is not always the happiest time of the year when you are single and most of your friends have their own families(meaning spouses and children). My parents, grandma, siblings and spouses all live in North and South Dakota. It’s always a little sad not spending Christmas with them, but traveling back to that part of the country around the holidays is a little less than ideal….plus I am not a fan of the cold!
Anyway this year I was feeling rather indecisive regarding what I wanted to do for Christmas Eve. Andrea, one of my best friends, would check with me daily for the last week and kept asking me what I was planning to do for the holiday. “You are always more than welcome to spend it with us,” she would tell me. While I really appreciated this invitation, I didn’t want to have two Christmas Eves in a row that I infringed on her family time, although I am sure she didn’t see it quite this way. Well today around 1:30pm the idea dawned on me that I should go and spend my Christmas Eve with some folks in a nursing home. Surely there would be other people like myself who had families that lived at a distance or worse yet didn’t have any family. So I got on the computer, opened up google and typed in Nashville nursing homes. The first one that came up in the search was Belcourt Terrace Nursing Home and that’s the one I called. A sweet lady answered the phone with a cheery Merry Christmas. I wished her Merry Christmas back and then proceeded to tell her about my personal situation and thoughts on sharing my Christmas Eve at the nursing home. I then asked her if there were any residents who didn’t have any family. “Oh yeah, several people do not have family and they would love to have you come and visit”, she said. She then told me that 4:30pm would be a good time to drop by and said to make sure to come by the kitchen (she is one of the cooks) and say hi. I thanked her and before hanging up asked her what her name is. “My name is Mary,” she said. At that point I new that something special awaited me a couple hours later.
I arrived the nursing home around 4:45pm. I met Mary and few of the the other staff. The facility can house about 39 residents but currently they only have 29. While it was my initial goal to say hello and visit with everyone, I quickly discovered that was not quite going to happen. One reason being that there were several people sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb them. The second reason was due to the sad fact that some people were clearly unable to communicate. To see another human being trapped in their body like this is always something that pangs my heart. At any rate, I start to visit one on one with some of the folks that were in the cafeteria. Within about 45 minutes of doing this I find out that there are several people that take their meals in their rooms and would not be coming out to eat. At that point I then decide to time to start making the rounds.
When I walked into Dewey Lamar Nichol’s room I was greeted with the biggest smile and a “you sure look pretty tonight.” I knew from that moment that this sweet old man was going to steal a little piece of my heart in no time at all. When I asked Dewey if he would mind me visiting with him for a while, he gave me another big smile and said “that would be nice.” I don’t know exactly how long I spent with Dewey, but I do know I was privileged to hear a bit of his life’s story. Dewey is 82 yrs. old and has lived at Belcourt Terrace for six years. He started in the ministry at age 15, shortly before his mother passed away because of Tuberculosis. Dewey was one of five children raised by a single mother whom he loved greatly. “There was nothing that my mother wanted that I didn’t try to get for her, even at age 15.” He then went on to recall a story about a traveling salesmen who sold curtains and bedspreads. “There was a white, chenille bedspread with a multi-colored peacock in the middle that mother wanted but didn’t have the money to buy.” I worked at a grocery store before and after school and saved up the money to buy that bedspread for her.” “It was the last thing I gave her.” Immediately after he is finished telling this story I notice an old, black and white photograph of a pretty woman hanging on the wall. I then asked him who the person is in the photograph. “That picture is of my mother and she’s looking after me.”
Now back to the ministry part. As I mentioned earlier Dewey Nichols got started in ministry at the early age of 15 and did go on to become a Reverend. For 58 years he was a member of The First Baptist Church Capitol Hill where he for many, many years was a Minister of Visitation to people who were sick in the hospital and at home. Upon telling me this he gave me another big smile and went on to say “I guess it’s coming back to me now.” I am immediately moved very deeply by this comment and can feel my eyes start to well up. Fortunately I am able to pull myself together quickly and proceed to ask Dewey more questions about his life.
When I asked Dewey about family he went on to tell me that he never fell in love, was never married and never had any children. I must admit this news was surprising to me because he is such a sweet man. I asked if he had any regrets about not marrying and having a family. His reply, “the fellow members of my church were my family.” He then went on to tell me that in addition to being a Minister of Visitation, he was also a Circulation Clerk for the Southern Baptist Sunday School Board. When I asked if he ever met Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. he told me that Dr. King stayed with him in his home a few times when he visited Nashville to speak. “Wow…that’s cool,” I said.
So we continue to chat about this and that. I learn that Dewey Lamar Nichols is a happy, peaceful man. He is a man of no regrets and when asked to comment on his life he says “I’ve really enjoyed my life and what I’ve done with it.” We talk about death very briefly and Dewey tells me “I’m not afraid to die…I look forward to it.” I proceed to share with him that I’m not afraid to die either but I just hope it doesn’t happen anytime soon because I want to have a family sometime in the near future. He doesn’t say anything in regards to my comment, rather gives me another sweet smile and I reminded how wonderful it truly feels to live in the moment and appreciate what is.
I hated dismiss myself from visiting with Dewey, but I really did want to make an attempt to chat with some of the other residents. I promised that I would poke my head in his room when I was leaving to tell him good night. I then went on and chatted with a few other people, their stories to follow at a later time. Four hours later, and feeling my stomach start to growl, I decide to leave for the evening. As promised I poked my head into Dewey’s room to wish him good night. In typical Dewey Nichols fashion I was greeted with yet another big smile. I wished Dewey a very Merry Christmas and told him how much I enjoyed visiting with him. I promised I would come back to visit him and would bring along some of my photos to hang on his walls. Just as I was about to step out he says “I remember your name…it’s Angela, just like the Guardian Angel coming to see me.” So tonight I give thanks to God for giving me a very special and memorable Christmas at Belcourt Terrace Nursing Home!
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